The Weaver

…WHAT OFFERING WHAT BOON THE HINGED SPLITTERS YOU BRING ME… it said, and suddenly held out its right hand. The militia officers tensed at the quick movement.

Without hesitation Rudgutter stepped forward and placed his scissors into its palm, taking a little care not to touch its skin. Stem-Fulcher and Rescue did the same. The Weaver stepped back with unsettling speed. It looked at the scissors it held, threaded its fingers through the handles and worked each pair rapidly open and shut. Then it moved to the back wall and, moving quickly, it pressed each pair of scissors into a position on the cold stone.

Somehow, the lifeless metal stayed where it was put, clinging to the damp-patterned stone. The Weaver adjusted its design minutely.

“We’re here to ask you about something, Weaver.” Rudgutter’s voice was steady.

The weaver turned ponderously back to face him.

…THE WEFT OF THREADS SURROUND ABOUND ABOUT YOUR TOTTERING TITTERING CARCASSES YOU TUG AND SHRUG UNRAVEL AND REKNIT YOU TRIUMVIRATE OF POWER ENCASED IN THE BLUE-CLAD BRISTLING WITH SPARKING FLINT BLACK POWDER IRON YOU STILL-POINT THREE HAVE CAUGHT HANGNAIL-SOULS ON THE FABRIC SNAGS THE FIVE WINGED RIPPERS RENDING UNWIND SYNAPSE AFTER GANGLIOL SPIRIT SUCK ON MINDFIBRES.

***

I love Perdido Street Station.

I had this idea, Kevbot Grizzly Arms…

I had this idea, Kevbot Grizzly Arms…

HuffPost's Funniest Movies of the 2000s

Surprisingly I’ve seen more of them than not.

Seen:
Anchorman (2004)
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Borat (2006)
Best In Show (2000)
Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
Wedding Crashers (2005)
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Zoolander (2001)
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Knocked Up (2007)
High Fidelity (2000)
Saved! (2004)
Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)
The Aristocrats (2005)
Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
Ghost World (2001)
Idiocracy (2006)
Up (2009)
Mean Girls (2004)
Kung Fu Hustle (2004)
Old School (2003)
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
Juno (2007)
Superbad (2007)
The 40 Year Old Virgin (2005)
Super Troopers (2001)
The School of Rock (2003)

Unseen:
The Hangover (2009)
Team America: World Police (2004)
Snakes On A Plane (2006)
Bad Santa (2003)
Ratatouille (2007)
The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
The Girl Next Door (2004)
Pootie Tang (2001)
The Sweetest Thing (2002)

Remember when people wrote letters? I miss that, even though I really enjoy this.

Remember when people wrote letters? I miss that, even though I really enjoy this.

I knew it was Tom Waits! He’s uncredited as far as I’ve read, but it’s him! Thanks YouTube!

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